The Morning Briefing - June 9, 2015
TRENTON – We may be overwriting this – but today’s state Supreme Court decision about state pension payments could puncture a massive black hole in the state budget, with the effects reverberating for years. New Jerseyans are gripping the edge of their seats, nervously chattering, sweating profusely and eagerly waiting for the court’s word. Or maybe not. But the court will be finally deciding if Gov. Chris Christie was wrong in slashing $1.57 billion from the pension fund this fiscal year. The governor, safely hiding in New Hampshire at the moment, could soon see his $32.5 billion budget implode, as the court could order the $1.57 billion to be included in the next spending plan, to be adopted by June 30. Christie, and everyone else, thinks its impossible to foot that bill, but, hey, there’s an extra $212 million from April tax collections, if that helps.
MAPLEWOOD – The office of Assemblywoman Mila Jasey became the epicenter of the charter school debate this morning, as hundreds of parents descended on Valley Street to blast her proposed moratorium on new charter schools in the state. Jasey has no charter schools in her district, but her bill would halt the growth of new charter schools everywhere, including in nearby Newark where thousands of low-income students are now getting high quality public education and going to college at record rates. There are now 13,000 students in Newark’s 20 charter schools, showing some obvious interest in this alternative route.
TRENTON – Stopping by the bank to make a deposit may soon have a whole new meaning for lactating women, after a Senate committee approved a bill allowing for the creation of human milk banks in New Jersey. These facilities are designed to help moms with delayed lactation or those who can’t nurse by providing the donated breast milk of others. Great program. But those donating at the drive-thru should anticipate inquisitive looks.
OCEAN TOWNSHIP – You never know where Acting Gov. Kim Guadagno will appear. At 7:45 p.m. tonight, she will be at the Hillel Yeshiva High School graduation. To those politically astute, they will be honored to have such a high-profile guest for an Orthodox Jewish high school graduation. And the others will whisper, “Psst, Harvey… who is the shiksa?”
EDISON - So a cop, a grade school principal, and a landscaper walk into a banquet hall each seemingly eager to be the next Chairman of the influential Edison Democratic Party. Last night's faceoff was no polite game of rock, paper, scissors. It was a gripping contest of wills complete with intrigue and subterfuge that saw the principal pull a last-minute switcheroo and hand 21-year township police veteran Keith Hahn the edge he needed to seize party control.
IN THE MEDIA
NEW YORK – The big winner in the massive implosion of NBC anchor Brian Williams must be his underling, Lester Holt. For years, Holt was stuck on the weekend shift, handling any job that Williams had no interest in. But since Williams got caught making stuff up and was suspended for six months, Holt has been handed one of the top jobs in broadcast journalism. CNN reports it looks like the prime anchor gig is now permanent for Holt, as it is doubtful Williams will ever resume the role. This gives hope to all the other second-team anchors in New York, quietly praying the first string goes all “Brian Williams.” (Yes, we just invented a new phrase.)
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LAS VEGAS – Attention high school girls: You can head off to college, where you can drown in debt. Or, says the owner of a Vegas strip club, you can enter the lucrative world of taking off your clothes in front of complete strangers – shaking and jiggling yourself into $1,000 a night. New ads outside Little Darlings strip club focuses on recent grads, with signs that read, “Now auditioning the Class of 2015,” KVVU reports. It’s true: Great opportunities do exist for people who never learned a currency beyond the $1 dollar bill.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2011 that six women in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia were arrested for learning how to drive a car in a parking lot. Authorities made a good point; it is unsafe to parallel park in a burka.
WORD OF THE DAY
Oocephalus – noun
Definition: An egghead. A studious person who struggles to relate to people with average intelligence.
Example: Isn’t it weird that eggheads are the only ones who know what oocephalus means?