The Morning Briefing - May 28, 2015
WEST WINDSOR – For a minute, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler needed to fire his booking agent, as it seemed he was set to perform at a pick-your-own strawberry farm in West Windsor. NJ.com reports the iconic rock star was listed on some websites as performing at a Saturday morning show at the Windsor Farm and Market. Boy, wasn’t the farm owner surprised when someone called to get more information about the big concert! West Windsor police have informed the public that, no, Steven Tyler was never booked, and had no idea how this happened. But, hey, one could easily confuse the “Windsor Farm and Market” with the “Prudential Center.”
TRENTON – While labor unions continue to demand the state pony up cash promised for the $80 billion public pension fund, NJ.com is reporting on some more fury: the fact that a record-high $600 million was spent last year in fees from private investment managers. The unions claim the state is overpaying for all this professional work, and is wondering out loud who is making this windfall of cash. Now the union is demanding a forensic audit to find out where the fees are going – a suggestion any politically-connected accounting firm would gleefully support.
NEWARK – The legal case between comedian Tracy Morgan and Wal-mart has quietly gone away, with all the lawyers hammering out a confidential settlement, following the Turnpike crash that killed one man and left Morgan and others injured. Morgan’s lawyer doesn’t appear to be talking about the lawsuit and the Wal-mart legal team will only describe it as an “amicable settlement.” No idea what that means, and we strongly doubt anyone will tell us.
CAPE MAY COURTHOUSE – With word that 20 kids at Lower Cape May Regional High School and the Richard Teitelman Middle School have been accused of “sexting,” should we universally ban smartphones from schools? This story – the latest in a string – began in April when a girl told school officials that naked photos of her friends were being texted around to some giddy boys. Cops seized 27 phones from the two schools, as numerous photos were being passed around via text and social media. All 20 students have been charged with invasion of privacy. But the embarrassment is the real punishment.
IN THE MEDIA
HOBOKEN – The Morning Briefing has obtained footage of a knife-wielding Gov. Chris Christie cooking a dish of Rigatoni Bolognese – and, yes, it is on the record. You, too, can catch the domestic side of our governor, with the premier of Pasta & Politics. It’s hosted by Nick Acocella, the editor and publisher of PolitiFax, the weekly newsletter that many read, yet some don’t pay for a subscription. (Nick knows who you are and is coming to get you.) Check out the Pasta & Politics episode here. More episodes are planned for NJTV. Already thinking spin-offs of Eggs & the Environment and Tea & Transportation.
NEWARK – It was a who’s who among politicians and media who attended the ribbon-cutting yesterday of the Agnes Varis NJTV Studio at Gateway 2 in Newark. Attendees got a tour of a beautiful newsroom and studio, as well as the chance to chat up NJTV editors, producers and reporters – all of whom were proud to show off the brand-new digs. The show can be watched through the window on the concourse, showing that New Jersey, too, is creating news. The only ones grousing were commuters, not appreciating all these intruders blocking their 3 minute sprint through the concourse to Penn Station. One guy with a phone plastered to his ear was unaware he was muttering for Sen. Cory Booker to “get the (blank) out of my way,” another almost smashed directly into State Sen. Loretta Weinberg. Meanwhile, NJTV handed out some tasty cookies.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ON CAMPUS – It seems if you graduate from college before getting married, you have a lot better shot of not getting fat. Researchers, who now officially have researched everything possible, are out with a study this morning that shows if you get hitched while pursuing your four-year degree, you have a 65 percent greater chance of becoming obese. The University of Michigan made that conclusion after studying 14,000 individuals and tracking their fatness, perhaps breaking it all down on a per-pizza formula.
WORD OF THE DAY
Jackanapes – noun
Definition: A presumptuous person – especially a young man. Often described as a “whippersnapper” by those over the age of 97.
Example: “That jackanapes just rode his moped over my big toe. Oww.”