The Morning Briefing - April 14, 2015
SAYREVILLE – For all the Bon Jovi fans out there, this could be one of those shows that sit in the DVR forever. Jon Bon Jovi has been named executive producer of a series called “If I Wasn't a Rock Star,” in which rock stars return to their hometowns and act like normal people who never filled arenas with throngs of fans. Forget, for a minute, about the camera crew following them around to capture all this “reality,” as the rock stars use the local gym, shop at the local grocery and we figure get normal jobs, maybe selling life insurance for the high school bully, let’s call him Kyle. The Asbury Park Press reports it is unclear if Bon Jovi will be returning to Sayreville; MTV auctioned off his childhood home long ago. But as executive producer of the show, who says you can’t go home?
NEWARK – Not only is the “Find my iPhone” feature on your smartphone handy-dandy, it is also a crime fighter. A Newark man has been slapped with 11 years in prison for carjacking a law student at Rutgers University in 2012, stealing his cellphone and wallet and then taking off in his car. The victim used the “Find my iPhone” feature to easily connect cops with his assailant. Thank you, once again, Steve Jobs.
FREEHOLD – A group known as the American Humanist Association now needs to find something else to get annoyed about, after mercifully ending its legal challenge against the Matawan-Aberdeen Regional School District and its insistent use of the Pledge of Allegiance with the phrase “under God.” The Asbury Park Press says the group will not appeal a Superior Court ruling; the judge said the phrase does not discriminate against atheists. School officials, forced to use lawyers to argue this complaint in court, said the pledge is voluntary and doesn’t violate religious freedom.
HOBOKEN – If you are going to risk stealing a vehicle, you’re going to want something sporty? Or maybe you’ll want one those luxury sedans that drives itself, as it cradles you in luxury? Right? Well, a Pennsylvania man decided otherwise – for some reason – on one of those Grey Line sightseeing buses that probably max out at 40 mph. The Jersey Journal reports the man dressed like a bus driver over the weekend and tried to take off with the bus on Adams Avenue in Hoboken. The newspaper said there are no more details available about the failed heist, but let’s assume it is near impossible to steal a sightseeing bus from one of the most traffic-clogged cities on the planet.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – With three announced Presidential hopefuls on the Republican side, and Hillary Clinton sucking all the air in the Democratic camp, Gov. Chris Christie heads to New Hampshire this week to position himself as a viable, unannounced candidate. Political pundits no longer consider Christie a competitor, as he is polling at the same level as Donald Trump. But Christie isn’t giving up, with his first town hall event outside New Jersey scheduled for tomorrow, and a bunch of meet-and-greets and roundtables filling out another week on the campaign trail. Meanwhile, 69 percent of New Jersey voters say Christie would not make a good President, according to the latest Rutgers-Eagleton poll.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SEATTLE – Napping on the job took a scary turn for an airport cargo worker who thought it make perfect sense to catch some ZZZs on an Alaskan Airlines flight being prepped yesterday for a trip to Los Angeles. You can sort of figure out what happens next, as doors shut and Alaska Airlines flight 448 hits the runway at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. The crew heard screaming and banging from the cargo hold, forcing the plane to turn around. Luckily, the worker decided to nap in a pressurized, temperature-controlled cargo hold and was uninjured.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
We always thought Juan Valdez was a person. But apparently he is a worldwide coffee conglomerate, which announced one year ago plans to compete directly against Starbucks, which is a company, not Mr. Starbucks.
WORD OF THE DAY
Fatuous – adjective
Definition: Unconsciously asinine
Example:“What a fatuous idea to nap in the cargo hold of an airplane!”