The Morning Briefing - March 26, 2015
TRENTON - Parents can't seem to find time to attend a PTA meeting or volunteer for the bake sale, but with some big help from the teachers' union, they've gotten the state Assembly to consider a bill today that would allow them to opt their kids out of taking standardized tests in New Jersey schools. The law would give parents 14 days before the test is administered to notify the schools that their children will be sitting the test out. Schools would then need to find some educationally enriching things to do with these kids - as long as they are not "tested" in any way.
HACKENSACK - It used to just be a naked guy in the park, or a Peeping Tom in the tree. But modern technology is raising the A game for area sickos, such as the 33-year-old guy accused of using a social media app to make random video calls to people throughout New Jersey, reports NorthJersey.com. When someone would accept a video call from such a generic name as "GinaFranco735," they would get a wonderful shot of the guy masturbating. The Queens man is now in a New York cell, waiting for a hands-on attorney to argue his extradition to New Jersey.
JERSEY CITY - Ah, another sign of spring: the Pulaski Skyway will be closed for eight consecutive weekends. Workers will be taking advantage of the warmer weather, starting at 9 p.m. tomorrow, to install floor beams as part of the ongoing overhaul of the 83-year-old span between Newark and Jersey City. The bridge will reopen at 5 a.m. Monday, just in time for the morning rush. There is a detailed plan to redirect traffic. We could explain it all, but let's just summarize: It will likely be a big mess, especially at the Tonnelle Circle.
SAYREVILLE - There's a huge step forward for the "Luxury Point" plan in Sayreville, as the local planning board has approved the general concept plan. We're talking 453 acres of formerly contaminated land off the Parkway that Mayor Kennedy O'Brien has been pushing for redevelopment since the 1990s. Now, it is full steam ahead for homes, a mall, a hotel, office buildings, restaurants, a movie theater, a marina and a river walk on the Raritan Bay - all to become the new face of Sayreville for those zipping through the Raritan tolls.
NEW BRUNSWICK - Sometimes state lawmakers can be darn funny, and, sometimes, even intentionally. And some, like Assemblyman Jon Bramnick, are eager to show how funny they can be. Decide for yourself at 7:30 p.m. tonight, when the Westfield lawmaker hits the stage as an opening act at the Stress Factory comedy club in New Brunswick. He could probably spend five minutes just riffing on a proposed "gas tax."
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
FIFE, Wash. - It was doubtful that "The Most Interesting Man in the World" would be hanging out in the carpool lane in Fife, Washington. And that is why a Washington State Patrol trooper decided to pull over a car with what was described as an "unusual" passenger - a cardboard cutout of the actor who portrays "The Most Interesting Man in the World" in Dos Equis beer ads. The driver's response? "He's my best friend." The State Patrol later tweeted: "I don't always violate the HOV lane law ... but when I do, I get a $124 ticket."
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2006 that cigarettes were banned from bars throughout Scotland, thereby doubling the number of double-fisters.
WORD OF THE DAY
Crudivore - noun
Definition: An eater of raw food.
Example: "Please pass the crudités to the crudivore. And don't scrimp this time on the zucchini."