The Morning Briefing - March 9, 2015
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Perhaps all the delay in Gov. Chris Christie announcing a Presidential bid is the stream of negative news, the latest being an NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll that shows nearly six out of 10 GOP primary voters don’t support him as the party’s nomination. Christie says he’s not fazed with the sagging polls when the election is 21 months away. Good perspective, if his funders remain unfazed, as well.
WATERFORD TOWNSHIP – It is a disastrous first date that a local woman keeps reliving. Last month, her potential suitor – nicknamed “Gooch” – stole her car on their first date, grabbing her keys and running off. It is a pretty easy car for cops to spot, with the license plate of "JSRYGRL," the Courier Post reports. Gooch was arrested Saturday, as police saw him zipping by in Cherry Hill. And Gooch clearly did not look like a JSRYGRL.
MILLVILLE – Last week, we wrote about the special place in hell for the school bus aide who stole lunch money and bagged lunches of preschoolers. Hell is getting even a little hotter for the 33-year-old former aide, now also facing charges of ripping off the bus driver, as well, CBS reports. The aide was first spotted on a surveillance camera rummaging through the belongings of four-year-olds, perhaps stealing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, coloring books and hand sanitizer, along with all the money they have ever collected in their short lives. Millville cops have now discovered she also stole from the driver, who claims he is out of $400. The former aide is now being held on $50,000 bail, to the relief of anyone clinging to a juice box.
JERSEY CITY – In more news about stealing from toddlers, a 29-year-old Baltimore man was charged with grabbing a plastic shopping bag from the girl as she was holding her mommy’s hand at the Journal Square PATH station. He made off with the bag and $3. Cops gave chase and arrested the man, who has successfully redefined the word “loser.” Contents of the plastic bag: a black tablet, as well as orange juice and a little girl’s scarf. Did we mention the word “loser”?
HAMILTON – Another welcoming sign of spring: pothole repair. State transportation officials will be holding a press conference at high noon to showcase some device that fills and repairs potholes. They will also be talking about the statewide campaign to fix the gaping crevices in the roadways – bad news for any mechanic hoping to buy a bigger boat with the spring season of axle repair.
IN THE MEDIA
HACKENSACK – Who knew that a veteran newspaper reporter from the Bergen Record could be so hip? Apparently, Herb Jackson has become a social media sensation, after a member of The Lumineers band posted how he taped a photo of the reporter on his keyboard 10 years ago. Jeremiah Fraites says Jackson’s face somehow “assures me creativity will flow.” Jackson responded in a column that this "is the most bizarre thing I've encountered in this job." The Facebook page has 2.2 million “Likes,” slightly larger than the Record’s paid circulation.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SALEM, N.H. – When you need Girl Scout cookies – and you need them now – there is no time to get out of your car and ring the doorbell of your local scout. And that is why New Hampshire Girl Scout Troop 12115 is filling the void, opening a drive-thru during prime cookie selling season. If you happen to be in the greater Salem area, make sure to stop by the formerly vacant warehouse on Main Street to witness the speedy operation and drop a few hundred bucks on Tagalongs. So far, as of press time, 1,200 boxes have been sold, WMUR-TV reports. The girls vow not to shut the operation until 5,000 boxes are sold. Perhaps it will become a 24-hour operation to accommodate those midnight cookie runs.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was one year ago that the Barbara Millicent Roberts (aka Barbie) doll celebrated its 55th birthday, to the ire of many who find the doll to be “irritatingly sexy” and sets seven-year-olds off on a life of thinking they have an inferior shape to some plastic thing made in Indonesia. And don’t get us talking about the “Totally Tattoo Barbie,” released in 2009 with its own tramp stamp.
WORD OF THE DAY
Billingsgate – noun
Loud, raucous profanity
Billingsgate got its name from a London market where the fishwomen assembled in the 1650s to purchase fish. In their dealings and disputes, they tended to stray from decency and good manners, according to the “Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue," published in 1811.
Example: You wouldn’t believe the billingsgate that spewed from Ken after learning Barbie got a tramp stamp.