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The Jaffe Briefing - February 6, 2018

SOUTH JERSEY - Expect the Ben Franklin Bridge to be filled with Eagles fans Thursday morning, as South Jersey streams in for the 11 a.m. start of the victory parade. The well-earned celebration begins at the Eagles training facility in South Philly and heads north to the Art Museum. With such an early start of the official festivities, Eagles fans likely only have five or six hours to pre-drink.

STATEWIDE - Of no surprise to anyone, New Jerseyans hate property taxes. A new Rutgers-Eagleton poll is the latest to report that obvious fact, also noting that we hate the cost of living, affordability, and wild government spending, TAPInto New Brunswick reports.  So, why do we all stay here? Are we all crazy? Sorta, but those responding to the poll say they really like their neighborhoods and towns. Almost half of the people polled are happy to live right where they are, while three out of 10 are eager to flee elsewhere.
STATEWIDE - For the first time in its history, your local library is actually making news. That's because of a terrible backlog of ordered books, CDs and other materials that haven't arrived since Jan. 1. Why? Everyone is blaming a California company, handed a sweet $900,000 contract to handle book loans among New Jersey libraries. The company botched everything, with 100,000 or so volumes never actually making their destination. The company, ExPak Logistics, will mercifully be walking away from its contract May 29, the Record reports. Who are these guys and who hired them?

ONLINE - If you are big reader of Chris Christie's Twitter feed, you'll quickly notice it is still "@GovChristie." WNYC found out why. Christie has about 948,000 followers, many of whom were collected over the years by his taxpayer-funded media team working to build up a strong social media presence for the 2016 Presidential race. WNYC says Christie graciously offered to hand over his followers to @GovMurphy, but Twitter apparently doesn't do that anymore, following some issue when Obama's Twitter followers were sent over to Trump. @GovMurphy has some work to catch up, now with about 14,500 followers. Meanwhile, Christie maintains the bully pulpit, now with 9,303 Tweets and counting.

PISCATAWAY - When your job is "to protect and serve," you are never really off. And so we are pleased to share the story of a State Police trooper who was sleeping Saturday after a midnight shift. There was a frantic call from neighbors, saying their two-week-old granddaughter was choking. Without time to put on shoes, Trooper Robert Meyer sprinted four houses over and used a syringe to remove the mucus that was choking the baby girl. All, now, is well.

TOKYO - At first, you thought McDonald's fry grease was just designed to harden your arteries and shorten your life. But apparently it has another use: to combat baldnessMSN reports. Japanese researchers at Yokohama National University think there is magic in "dimethylpolysiloxane," a silicone added to McDonald's fries to stop cooking oil from frothing. (Yummy!) So, let's take an unsubstantiated leap here: If you inject McDonald's fry grease into your bald spot, hair will magically grow. It'll smell like a Happy Meal, and your hairdo will likely look like Medusa. But, hey, hair is hair, right?
AT THE STORE - First, there was Burger King's "Whoperitto." Then, the "Firework" Oreo. And, now what will likely be the latest food failure: Doritos designed specifically for women. Time reports that women don't like to crunch too loudly in public, they don't lick their fingers generously, and they don't like sticking the bag to their faces like a feeding bag to pour the little pieces down their gullets. Doritos' response to this "problem?" Developing chips with a "low crunch" that do not stick to your fingers and snack bags that fit oh-so-nicely in the purse. Perhaps they will be called the "Dorito-ette." Or the "Lady Dorito." Or "Dorito Slims." (We can keep going with this.)
It was this day in 2012 that Queen Elizabeth celebrated her 60th anniversary of becoming monarch of the United Kingdom and seven sovereign states in the Commonwealth of Nations. (Whatever that is.)  The Queen celebrated with a second sugar cube in her noon tea and an extra dollop of pudding.
Logomachy - [low-GAH-muh-kee] - noun
Definition: A dispute over or about words
Example: Every morning, our "Word of the Day" writers argue over logomachy, trying to present you with the very best words EVER.

Posted in Morning Briefing


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